For your entertainment this weekend before Christmas, a monologue I wrote from an Angel’s perspective two years ago:


(ANGEL comes in carrying a mug of hot water, and a messenger bag that holds a bag of small marshmallows, a spoon, and a packet of hot chocolate.  ANGEL looks slightly hassled.)

Phew.  Glad that’s over.

(Takes a deep breath.  Realizes there’s an audience.)

What?  Perhaps you expected an angel to show up with a long white bed sheet and a gold tinsel halo?  Not to mention tissue paper wings?  I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

We don’t wear that stuff.  Honestly, where did you come up with that idea?  It’s not like none of you have never seen us before.  At the very least your pictures could be accurate.  But you humans, your memories are so short.  Appear to you one afternoon, and within a week you’re doubting you ever saw us, and within the month you’ve practically forgotten.  That’s probably why your ideas of us angels are nuts.  Seriously.  Nuts!!!  Why in heaven would we wear bed sheets?  You ever try wearing bed sheets?  Not very practical, and very cold. Very, very cold.   You try floatin’ in air, in the middle of the night, singing at the top of your lungs because Gabriel demands it, and you’re his secretary, so you have to set a good example.  It’s cold up there.  I’m talking snot freezing in your nose, hair becoming an icicle and breaking off in chunks, fingers turning blue, then white, and then being unable to feel anything – cold.  Believe me, we do NOT wear white bed sheets.  I’d LOVE to see you try.  It’s COLD up there I tell you.  COLD.

Speaking of which, give me a moment will you?  My water’s getting cool, and we all know that you can’t have hot chocolate if it’s cold, now can you?

(ANGEL  prepares cup of hot chocolate.)

Mmmm – that’s good.  You guys might forget stuff, but you do make some good hot chocolate.  Anyway, it was cold.  Crazy shepherds.  When Gabriel told me to gather the Heavenly Host because we were going to do a little mid-night serenading, I got kinda excited.  With all the messages being sent from Heaven to Earth recently I thought maybe we might be singing at the birth of The Son. You know, give Mary a little encouragement while she’s in labor, ease her pain – that kinda stuff.  Yeah.  Not so much.  We didn’t even get to witness the blessed event.  We had to go serenade some shepherds who were out in the middle of nowhere, hanging with their sheep.  I’m gonna be honest with you – I was a bit frustrated with this.  I mean, I did my job.  I made sure Gabriel’s mic was on, that the stars were sparkling just right, and that Heavenly Host of angels that I had to assemble were revealed to the shepherds at exactly the right moment.  But I was angry none-the-less.

I mean, seriously.  You guys have horrible memories.  We shouldn’t have been singing for a few mangy shepherds.  We should’ve appeared before the entire town of Bethlehem – and Jerusalem. Not to mention Rome.  We should’ve sung for Herod himself.  We should’ve sung for all the Teachers in the temple, for all the travelers on the road, for…for…for every wife cooking beside her fire, for every daughter fetching water at the town well, for every working son and husband.  But no – we only sing for a few smelly shepherds.  It just….  Gah!  If we had sung for everyone – then no one would have forgotten just who arrived on your small planet tonight.  No one.  People would’ve been talking about our heavenly visitation for the rest of human history.  But as it is, the memory, the knowledge, that the King of Kings has come has been solely entrusted to a few shepherds, a couple travelling kings, and Mary and Joseph themselves.

I mean, what’s going to happen if they forget?  If the rest of you don’t believe?  I might be only a secretary angel, but I know enough about how humans think, and about how God works to know that the two don’t usually coincide.  God’s all about the big plan, and love, and doing things gently when possible.  You guys are all about war, and results right now.  The two ways of life don’t exactly mix well.  If, just sayin’, if you forget that the small baby born tonight is the one and only son of His Holiness, and that you need to do what He says, you’re gonna kill him.  I mean, I know – I KNOW that He left Paradise to come save you guys.  And God knows you need saving.  And I have no idea how in Heaven He plans on saving you, but if you forget He’s God, and you kill him….  What’s gonna happen to you then?  Huh?  What’s going to happen to all of us then?

Don’t forget, okay?  Please, please, don’t forget He’s the Son of God.  Give him your respect, your love, you time, your honor.  But mostly, don’t forget.  Please, please, don’t forget.




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