The way the sun is hitting my computer screen creates a pretty good reflection right now. I see myself, my white earbuds in, the butterfly necklace around my neck, my navy blue shirt which looks black in the screen. The way the sun is hitting my face is rather artistic, half lit, half in obscured shadow. I see my thin-framed glasses, the arch of my eyebrows, the outline of my lips, the beginning hints of the wrinkles that will deepen over the rest of my life.
I like what I see. Not necessarily the physical aspect of my reflection (though I’m pretty partial to that face and the twinkling eyes), but the heart and unshaped dreams that also are reflecting back at me. I don’t know exactly what’s coming. I don’t know where I’ll be when I’m done with seminary (or even if I’ll finish, though I plan to). I don’t know what my life or my dreams will look like. But I like the woman I am becoming, and I am excited to see what God does with and through her.
Mixed in with this morning’s version of my reflection is the computer’s background – which is a picture of a humming bird with blurry wings sucking nectar from a yellow flower. I took this picture something like two years ago, a couple weeks after I had been fighting with God. It is a reminder of God’s love for me, and how far He has brought me in the past couple years.
And I think the fact that I like the reflection of the girl in the monitor is a direct result of the fact that she actually believes God loves her, that He has a crazy adventure planned out for her, and that He is a God who, while being God and so Just and Righteous and Powerful, is also a God who simply loves.