July 26, 2013 · 11:44 am

Egg-lights

Empty Eggshells

This summer has not been an easy one for me.  More often than not, by the end of the day, I feel completely empty, totally poured out.  There’s not any one specific thing that’s been causing it – it’s been several specific things.  Some are done and over with now, with other things filling their places.  Some are on-going.  All of them are draining.

And yes, prayer helps.  As does reading scripture.  And taking hikes, or long walks.  And journaling.  But I’m still empty by the end.

A couple weeks ago I went on a mission trip with my youth group.  It was one of the things that completely broke me.  When I came home and turned on my laptop, I was stopped by my wallpaper.  It was a picture I had taken earlier in the summer during a camping trip.  In the picture is a pile of broken egg shells, completely emptied of their yolk and white.  And, because of their emptiness, the morning sunlight could shine right through them, illuminating their cracks in an eye-catching way.  (So eye-catching that I had to stop flipping French Toast and grab my camera!)

Anyway, when I got back from my mission trip and was greeted by this picture, I suddenly found myself identifying with the eggs – completely emptied of everything within me, and broken.

But that’s when I realized that in order for the light to be shining through the eggshells, all their yolk and white had to be emptied out.  In fact, if you could talk to the eggs, I bet they would tell you that they felt like their very essence, the very thing that made them eggs, had been drained out of them.

But, but that’s what had to happen for the light to shine through them.  Only once the light was able to shine THROUGH them, could the eggs become something no one had expected.

And, I think, (I pray) that’s what God’s been doing with me this summer – completely emptying me of what I think of as my essence.  But, in reality, it’s just stuff that gets in His way of shining THROUGH me.  Which is really what I want.  I want Him to shine through me.  I want to be merely a shell, with Him filling me up, pouring out of me, catching eyes so that people notice.

I want to live an eggshell life – a life that brings Him glory and catches eyes for Him.

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July 19, 2013 · 11:22 am

If my younger self could talk to me now…

I miss writing at Starbucks.  I should be typing this out at one of their small, smooth tables, slowly sipping an Earl Grey Tea Latte.  But instead I sit curled up on my bed, pondering life, too lazy to get up and move.

Not the point, just an FYI.

So, this birthday month thing is apparently a bigger deal to me than I realized.  Or maybe it’s just because these last three weeks have been some of the hardest I’ve had in years.  Either reason – I’m extra contemplative and reminiscent of younger days.  (For those of you who don’t use words that size and don’t feel like reaching for a dictionary, the translation is I’m thinking about my past a lot).

And I wonder.

If I could fold time back on itself, so the eighteen year-old version of myself could meet the current, thirty year-old version of myself, what would my younger self think?  What would my older self say? I’m not sure.  It’s easier to know what my younger self would say.  Something along the lines of:

Why aren’t you in Africa?  You’re supposed to be in Africa teaching missionaries’ kids.  But instead you’ve had about twenty jobs in the time you graduated from college.  Why?  Yes, Bahrain was hard, but you don’t give in to pain, you push through.  God takes care of everything, right?  And He’ll protect you from stuff.  Were you not trusting Him enough?

And YOU HAVE A NOSE RING?!?  WHAT?    WHY?  Really?  Just because you think it’s pretty?  Who ARE you?  AND YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!?!  WHYYYYYYYY?

Why haven’t you lost the weight yet?  Will it never come off?

What are you wearing?

What are you listening too?  (And what is that little thing that is attached to the earphones in your ears?  ARE those earphones?)

You don’t have a VW bug yet?  Your car is boring.

You have so many more books!

And when did you start liking hats?

No guy in the picture yet, huh?

And so, so much more.  None of it truly important.  I know my younger self would have some issues with what I believe and know about God today.  And probably with the fact that I’m not living by “the plan”.  But that stuff has come with time and experience.  So, oh well.

But if I was given the unheard-of chance to talk to my younger self?  I’d probably say something along these lines:

Life is not about you.  I know you think that you think that, but it’s really NOT, Okay?  It’s not going to go how you expect, and that’s a wonderful, exhilarating reality to accept.  Accept the adventures God throws your way.  Your life will be richer for taking them.
Love better.  Love people.  All people.  No matter what.  You will have some really, really excruciatingly hard times ahead, but those will be nothing compared to the pain your relationships (all sorts – friends, family, romantic) will put you through.  But that’s okay.  Your relationships are worth it, are really the only thing worth your time on earth.  Because through your relationships you discover more about God, and God uses them to mold you into the woman He wants. And He will use you to reach out to everyone around you – because He loves you so much.

Do you have ANY idea how very much God loves you?  He loves you enough to want the very best for you.  He wants to make every day your very best.  He wants to give you the very best gifts.  He want you to become the woman He created you to be, and He placed inside you the potential to be.  He loves you enough to correct you when you mess up – no matter what it takes.  He loves you better and more deeply than you could ever imagine.

I would probably give myself a few fashion tips, a couple hints about what’s ahead, a few pointers with boys and friendship, but none of those would be as important as the knowledge of God’s love and relationships.

 

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July 12, 2013 · 1:30 pm

Live, Forest, LIVE!!!!

I just spent three minutes staring at my computer screen while it was in Screensaver mode.  I watched as pictures of places I have been and people I have met, gently appeared and disappeared on and off the screen.  And I thought how blessed I was, how much I have enjoyed the life I have lived so far, how much I’m looking forward to what’s coming next in my life.

And maybe it’s because of the book I’m reading, or the fact we are now in my birthday month, and this time around I’ll turn thirty (I know, I’m OLD!  And I’m YOUNG!)  but the thought, “What exactly does it mean to LIVE?” crossed my mind.  I know it’s kind of a cliché thought.  Just about everyone who is anyone has written on this topic, so I’m not being overly original here.  But the question has been circling around my head for a couple of hours now, and I can’t seem to focus on anything else.  So, here goes!

So, define Living . Having recently re-taken sixth, seventh, and eighth grade science, I KNOW there are four or six different requirements, or tests, to see if something is alive.  Yep.  Really did retake those classes.  And yes, there really ARE requirements to know whether or not something is alive.  Don’t ask why I had to re-take middle school science.  Honestly.  Not the point.

But I think a person can pass all those requirements with flying colors and not be Living.

For me, Living is NOT simply having a form of sorts and breathing.  That counts for plants and animals and other various ‘live’ organisms that I can’t think of.  But, as bearers of God’s reflection, I think our definition has a few more requirements.

I think Living is more than simply having great experiences.  For instance, some people have these bucket lists (Apparently some people have lists of stuff to do before they turn 30.  Huh.  Didn’t do that).  Now, since I’ve never created one of these lists, I could be wrong, but my assumption is that they think it’s okay to die if they’ve completed everything on their list.  Like, completing everything on that list means they’ve really Lived.  So, accomplishing certain tasks, or seeing certain things, or experiencing certain experiences means you’ve lived?  Well, what about all the people who didn’t have the resources to bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge?  Have they still Lived?  Or how about the people who never tried eating a cricket?  Or cow’s brains?  Have they really Lived?  How about the women who never gave birth?  And, for that matter, all the men who didn’t either(like, all of them, right)?  Have they Lived?  If I never travel to the South Pole (NO THANKS!) will I not have truly Lived?

I don’t think so.  I think a person can never leave a mile-radius of where they were born and still Live.

I also think people can travel the world, get married, have kids, climb to the top of the Eiffel tower, zip-line off the Great Wall of China, eat green tomato minced pie (YUCK) and NOT have Lived.

I honestly think you have to go back to the Bible in order to really Live (don’t freak out, I’m not asking you to pull out your robe, sandals and staff from the Christmas pageant).  I think you specifically have to look at why we’re here, which means looking at what Jesus commanded us to do while on this planet.   And Jesus said, in Matthew 22, verses 37 through 39 that the greatest commandment (So, the most important thing He asked us to do while on earth) is to “Love the Lord your God with your entire heart, with your entire soul and with your entire mind.”  And in the very next breath, He said to, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

Now, if you do this, if you follow this commandment, there’s a good chance you’ll end up in foreign countries, or eating weird food (seriously – white lasagna is WEIRD), or even getting married some day.  There is just as good of a chance, though, that you’ll end up living in the same town you grew up in, working at the grocery store a couple blocks over, and getting to know everyone who comes through that grocery line.  And that’s okay.  That’s fine.  That’s brilliant really.

Because you’ll get to know those people really well.  You’ll learn how to best love them.  And that’s the commandment!  To LOVE.  In a deep, caring-about-you-more-than-me sort of way.

And people who love like that – they have rich, full, fulfilling lives.  Promise.  They might go to New Zealand  some day, they might not.  It doesn’t matter so much, because that inner desire that is buried so deep within each and every human on the planet to not waist our time here (I know it might not seem like everyone has this desire, but they do – some just chose to ignore it) is fulfilled.

So, my conclusion – if you Love God with everything in you, and if you sacrificially love your neighbor, you are, indeed, Living.

Go Live your life, wherever God leads it!  Go Live it abundantly (that means Love LOTS of people well)!

Buckle up, it’s going to be quite the ride.

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, afterthought – I have nothing against bucket lists.  When God has given us this amazing planet, and the means to travel it, we should probably do that to some extent.  It helps you get to know Him better.  And if you need a list to help you remember all you want to do, that’s fine.  Make lists.  I would LOVE to see the Northern Lights some day before I die, and I want to visit Ireland, and I want to hike the Camino De Santiago in Spain.  But I’m not going to feel like I got gypped if I die before those things happen.  After all, when God renews this earth, and makes all things new – those experiences might be ten times better.

 

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July 5, 2013 · 1:30 pm

Music Notes

I have made a discovery.  This is going to blow your mind.  Really.  Are you listening?  Okay, pay attention now.

Girls dig boys who make music.

WHAT!?!

I know, right?  Whether he sings heart-throbbing lyrics, strums a guitar, hammers on a drum, knows how to make a banjo dance, or simply can really buzz a harmonica, boys who make music tend to cause women to swoon (definition of swoon as I understand it is along the lines of instant crush).

True statement.

And if a boy writes his own music – oh man!  Better watch out!  He’s very likely to have mobs of girls running after him.  Or screaming his name.  Or wearing his name on homemade t-shirts.  And have posters of him in their rooms.  And know all his songs by heart.  They might even randomly burst into those songs in the middle of a mall, or a hall, or a classroom.  They might even dance to those songs.

I bet you had no idea.

Music is powerful.   It can turn a stiff board of a person into a ball of spinning energy.   It can open doors.  It can alter a person’s mood quicker than a puppy, a caramel frappaccino, a great workout, or a cute new outfit.  It also has the power to keep a person in a mood, or even heighten an emotion.

When we break up with boys, we play depressing and angry songs over and over again.  When we’re in love, or really, really, really want to be in love, we listen to any and every love song that is on our ipod.  Over and over and over again.

Music is the quickest, purest way to our soul.  Really and truly.  I’m not kidding.  Hence the reason if a boy REALLY wants you, he’ll write you a song.  Or struggle through it on his newly-bought guitar.  Or, at the very least, he’ll make you a playlist.

So, it makes sense that a chunk of our time in fellowship with other Christians be spent singing, worshiping our God.  I know it probably feels weird.  I mean, where else does that ever happen, except at concerts, where a group of people just sing together?  Nowhere.  Weird.

But…but for me, it’s been during times of worship when God most often talks to me.  Or when I can finally express to Him what’s been bothering my heart.  It’s during times of worship that I have literally felt God cleanse me of all the gunk life threw at me that had been clinging to my heart. I have felt refreshed, convicted, comforted, and encouraged.  And I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that worship is the key to all of that.

When we take the time to tell God how much we love Him; when we take the time to remind ourselves in song of His goodness, of His power, of His grace; miracles happen.  Chains are broken.  Lives are changed.  God’s glory is displayed.

 

So, two things –

Be careful what music you listen to.  I’m not saying only listen to Christian music (NO WAY am I saying that), but do be careful.   Remember, what you listen to is a reflection of where your heart is.  Music has the power to put your heart in a good place, or in a down-right rotten one.

And, take some time this week, all on your own, separate from church or youth group, and tell God how much you love Him – in song.  You know how awesome it is when someone sings to you; I’m pretty sure God feels the same way.  I’m pretty sure your belting your favorite worship song in the shower (because who DOESN’T sound amazing in the shower?) puts a huge, little boy grin on His face.  And it’s a wonderful thing when God smiles.

 

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June 28, 2013 · 4:29 pm

Eagles and Emotions

I was standing in church, one of a handful of white faces amidst a sea of darker.  It was praise and worship time, my main reason for ever attending any church service.  (First is worship, second is community, third for the stories the pastor tells, fourth for the occasional doughnut, and fifth is for the actual sermon – sorry.  It’s not that God doesn’t speak to me through the sermon, because He does.  It’s just that normally, if I want to hear from God, I close the door to my bedroom, find my journal, turn on some worship music and then start praying.  Sometimes I pull out my Bible.  After that, I call (or, usually, grab coffee with) some of my wiser friends.  Wisdom and advice is always more easily swallowed with a cup of coffee (or, in my case a cambrick) in hand. )

So, anyway, I was one sweaty (it wasn’t fall yet, and temperatures were still above the 100’s) white face in a sea of non-sun-burning faces in church. And we were singing, thanking God that, like the wind beneath an eagle’s wings, He lifts us up above the storm.  I don’t remember the exact song actually – just that image.  And I remember praying, “God, just walk with me through the storm.  I want to feel everything.  I don’t want to escape life’s bumps and bruises.  Just walk with me.”

Silly me!  That was at the start of the hardest year of my life to date.

Why on earth would anyone pray that silly prayer?  “Don’t lift me above the storm God, I want to experience it, I want to be bumped and bruised and broken and tossed about.”  Sounds painful.  It IS painful.

But by that point in my life I knew enough to know that God often does His best work in the smack middle of our pain.  And I desired God to do His best work in me.

I also knew that I wanted to experience life  – all of it.  Including the pain of the storms the song was talking about.  I didn’t want to just glide above them, I wanted to be down in them, feeling the roller coaster waves beneath my feet.  Thrilling in the ride and risks and healing that would be taking place.  I didn’t want God to protect me from this life.  I wanted to KNOW all of it, that I might know Him better, that I might share Him better with others.

But, you know what?  I don’t think I needed to pray that prayer.  I mean, yes, I did.  My heart needed to tell God where I was with Him; that I trusted Him to take care of me no matter what.

But I didn’t need to pray that prayer because God doesn’t do that – lift us up above a storm.  I was right – God walks with us, side-by-side through the storm.  Sometimes He stops us and surrounds us with His body, protecting us from some airborne shrapnel, but for the most part, we get to feel everything.  That’s kinda part of the point of this life – to experience it.  Somewhere along the line of growing up in a very Christian environment, I picked up the idea that God’s protection means that He’ll keep you from feeling too much pain.  That you’ll never get depressed because of Him.  Yeah, that’s not how God works.  Him walking beside you does NOT mean He keeps those emotions away.  Him walking beside you means He’ll help you manage those emotions, that you don’t have to be overcome or ruled by them. But He still wants you to feel the emotions He placed inside us, that respond to the situations we are in, that we might get to know Him better.

The more you live life with someone, the better you get to know them.  So, live life with God.  Get to know Him.   Don’t be afraid of the storms that come, He’s with you.  Don’t get bored during the gentle, quiet times of calm, He’s still with you.

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June 21, 2013 · 9:30 pm

Summer Time

So, it’s summer.  That wonderful time when you don’t have to do math assignments, or write research papers, or discover the force of gravity.

But how are you spending all your free time?  Are you in front of your TV for most of it?  Or on Facebook?  At the mall?  Or texting?

Some of that is good.  Some of that is restful and necessary.  But not a lot, actually.

I’ve discovered that the most restful way to spend time is often doing the things you love most…as long as those things don’t include texting, Facebook, tumblr, Twitter…you get the picture.  Go spend some time doing the things that God gave you a love for.  Use whatever it is to encourage, engage, and get to know someone else.

Give God a bit of your time this summer.  After all, we hang out with those we love right?  Why would God be any different?

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June 15, 2013 · 4:42 pm

Community

A week ago I had a huge disappointment.  I had applied for an internship that seemed too good to be true, and I made it through most of the whittling-down process.  In fact, I was in the last six.  But, I found out last Thursday that I didn’t get it.   I had prayed since the beginning that God’s will be worked through the process, and so I was surprised at how hard it was to hear the “no”.  Hard might be a bit of an understatement.  It hurt like –  heart-being-pulled-out-of-you-while-still-fully-alive-and-breathing hurt.  Like I-suddenly-couldn’t-breathe hurt.  Like 1,000-paralyzing-brain-freezes-hitting-you-all-at-once hurt.

So, like any self-respecting woman who has emotions and admits to it, I cried.  I actually curled up on the floor of my bathroom and poured my heart out to God in tears (I didn’t have words).  Eventually, I pulled it together enough to text my dear friend, asking her to pray for me, because I wasn’t in a very good spot.

And then I went to Lifegroup, because it was Thursday, and Lifegroup happens on Thursday nights.  And no, I didn’t really feel like going.  But these people are the ones who weekly remind me, and challenge me with different aspects of my walk with God.  These people also care about me pretty intensely.  And, well, I’m a sucker for routine.  Routine is a great place to hide if everything is not okay.

So, when I showed up at the door and one of my friends asked me how I was doing, I tried to pretend everything was okay, and said “good”.  Except my friend knew me better than that.  She knows me so well, that she could look straight into my eyes, and say, “No Honey, you’re not okay at all.  Let’s go talk about it.”  She has, after all, been a part of my life for over a year now – almost two.  And she can read me pretty well.  That’s one of the benefits of Lifegroup.  Some of the people become friends who can tell when something’s up with you before you even know something is…or can tell when you don’t want them too.

Anyway, my friend somehow pulled the super-human feat of understanding what all my tears were about through my sobs and sniffles.  Later, when the group was sharing prayer requests, and I knew if I even opened my mouth, more than my eyes would be leaking (which they had been doing all evening), she went ahead and added me to the list.  She knew.

And really, that’s the point.  Wherever you are in life – young or old, student, or adult, you need friends.  The really good kind that care about you, and that tend to know what’s going on; the kind that will keep you accountable and remind you of the big picture.  It’s called living in community, and if you intend to live your life in a way that pleases God, it’s vital.  You HAVE to have it.  You won’t make it without a close group of friends.

That being said, of course, if you pick the wrong friends to surround yourself with, things won’t be pretty for you.

So, be careful who you invite into your community.  Be purposeful in who you invite.  Are they people you want to be more like? Only invite those sort.  Because whoever is in your community, your friendgroup, that is who you eventually will look like.

Have friends; have challenging, God-loving, honest, awesome, slightly scary friends.  And then let them in to your life.  You will be incredibly blessed.

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May 31, 2013 · 10:30 am

Pressure

So, you know how a fish swims through water…all it’s life?  And that’s completely natural?  I don’t think the fish ever thinks, “Huh, I’m swimming through water.  I wonder what it would be like to be outside of water.”  Yeah, I don’t think so.  And I doubt even more that the fish ever thinks about the KIND of water it’s surrounded by…or HOW MUCH PRESSURE that water is putting on him.  I mean, think about it.  He’s lived his entire life in the pressure of the water.  He’s never known any different.  So he has no idea.  In fact, since he’s lived his entire life in that pressure, he probably doesn’t think he’s under any pressure at all.

Did you know the same is true of you?  You know how the earth is surrounded by atmosphere – an atmosphere that provides wonderful things like air for us to breathe in and protection from the sun?  Well, that same atmosphere is exerting crazy amounts of pressure on you.  And yet, because from the moment you were conceived in your mother’s womb the atmosphere has been pressing down on you, you don’t notice it at all.  In fact, it feels like you’re under no pressure at all!  And all the while, the atmosphere is pressing, pressing, pressing – pressing 14.7 pounds per square inch ON YOU (thank you NASA for that info)!  I don’t know if you get it – but that’s A LOT of pressure – that you don’t even feel!  CRAZY!

It is completely mind-blowing to me to think of all that atmosphere we are surrounded by, all that atmosphere we just take for granted and don’t even notice.  All that atmosphere putting pressure on you and you don’t even (normally) realize it.

Which, of course, makes me wonder:  what else am I so used to that I don’t even notice.  What ELSE in my life is putting pressure on me that I just deal with – even though I don’t have to (unlike the pressure of the atmosphere – we actually need that).  Words like parents, friends, school, grades come to mind.  My parents put pressure on me about specific things (keep room clean, take a shower, don’t talk like that, etc) (okay – they used to, now that I’m a grown woman – not so much).  My friends would put pressure about how I looked on me, or how I talked, or what stuff I liked, or WHO I liked, or all sorts of stuff.  I don’t like to admit it, but those fuzzy-pictured magazines in the grocery store put pressure on me too – pressure to care about meaningless stuff, or to look a certain way, or to need something unnecessary, or something.  And, well, you get the picture.  We are under a ton of pressure.

And so it’s your choice what to do with that pressure.  You can buckle under it; you can choose to listen to all those voices whispering into your ear…and eventually go crazy, or get distracted from what we’re SUPPOSED to care about (because, that’s the point of those pressures, really).  Or you can do the miraculous. You can ask God to take them off you (because He can and will) and help you focus on the things He wants you to care about.

So you say, “So, I go from the pressures of the world around me to the pressures God puts me under?  Great.”

But it’s not like that.  God will lift the pressures of the world from you…and then help you pursue the things HE wants you to.  And since He’s helping, and He’s God…you won’t be under crazy pressure.  Because He’s GOD, and He carries the burden of that sort of thing.  And, when you live a life pursuing the things He wants you to, it’s more of an adventure anyway.

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May 24, 2013 · 9:21 pm

Cross-stitched flowers and Thankfulness

I’m a hands-on type of girl.  So sometimes I get real creative and actually MAKE presents for birthdays, weddings, or even Christmas.  I know, I know, everyone makes presents for Christmas, that’s not that big of a deal.

See, for me, when I make you something, it means I’ve spent hours scheming the exact perfect thing for you, and then I’ve spent hours actually making it for you.  It’s a reflection of my love for you, of our relationship.  Literally by the time you unwrap it, whatever the present is, it has become a tangible symbol of the prayers I have prayed for you, the dreams I’ve dreamt for you, and the memories we’ve created together.  You might not see it, you might just see a cup, or a plaque, or a book, or a blanket, or a dress, but that’s just a cover for what you’re actually unwrapping.

The thing is though, growing up, I didn’t realize how much of myself I’d pour into hand-made gifts.  I also didn’t completely realize (mostly because I hadn’t thought about it) that the cross-stitched, personalized plastic mug that I sewed just for you with your favorite flower on it might not be as cool as the gif card to Abercrombie and Fitch that someone else gave you.

The first time I realized this, it broke my heart.  I had given one of my closest friends the mug described above, and she hardly looked at it.  I don’t remember what everyone else gave her for her birthday, but they were all ultimately cooler gifts than the mug.   And then she proceeded to hang out with everyone else at her birthday party and practically ignored me.

And it hurt.

It hurt like someone had taken my heart and slapped it with a thousand rough-wood splinters, all digging deeper and deeper into my tender heart.

In fact, that’s one of the first times I remember confiding to my mother about something I was going through.  With relationship stuff, that is.

My momma was wise.  She sat on my bed next to me, and put her arm around me, and just hugged me for what felt like hours.  She let me talk and cry and sob, and she didn’t try to fix it (she couldn’t), but she did listen.  And eventually, when I quieted down, she told me that next time, before I started making a gift for someone, I needed to remember this night.   I needed to make the decision whether or not it was worth it to make that present.  Would I be okay giving a gift that might not be appreciated as much as I wanted it to be?  Would I be okay giving away something that precious if it wouldn’t be loved as well as I thought it deserved to be?

Basically, my choice was to be okay with my hand-made gifts meaning more to me than to the friend receiving it, and to keep making those gifts, or to never give a gift that dear again.  If I never gave a gift that precious again, my heart wouldn’t hurt as much.

I chose not to protect my heart that way.  I have made many gifts since then that have been carefully crafted for a specific, special someone.  And I have learned that when I make such gifts, it’s about the love I put into it, not the love with which it is received.  But it’s still important for me to give such gifts.  It’s good for my heart.  And, I like to think, whether or not my friend knows it, that the gift somehow blesses them.  That somehow, all the love and prayers and memories I’ve poured into it surrounds it and is absorbed by my friend.  I’m not sure if that’s actually possible, but I like to think so.   It doesn’t matter that my friend doesn’t know; she’s still benefitting from it.

The thing is, when I think about that cup I gave all those years ago, I think about thankfulness.  What cross-stitched mug has God spent hours making for me, that I have scorned because it wasn’t as cool as an itunes card? What has God made specifically for me;  that I receive but don’t appreciate to the fullness of the gift?  What do I take for granted, or don’t give a second glance to, that He has planned and schemed and crafted just for me?

I hope nothing.  I hope I take none of His gifts (or any of my friends’) for granted.  But I’m human, so I’m sure I do.  But I pray that God continues to open my eyes to the gifts around me that I am oblivious to.  The ones that He poured His heart into.  The ones that are meant as reminders of His love and His dreams for me.

Because He loves us better than our parents, our dearest, closest friends, our significant others.  And so His gifts are SO much better (and bigger, and more random, and more unexpected, and often crazy) than theirs.  Because He, the one who crafted YOU, the One who knows every atom of you, who knows what makes you smile and glow, loves you, and gives you such good, mind-blowing gifts.

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May 17, 2013 · 9:50 pm

Colorado Mountain Air

The summer I came back from Bahrain I was on sensory overload.  Suddenly, after 10 months of living in a place I describe to people as “Mars”  (think red desert with not much vegetation), I was suddenly back in my beloved Colorado.  I could hardly handle being surrounded by my mother’s gorgeous flowers, and God’s breath-taking mountains, and the wonderful, refreshing, mountain air.   I have never taken so many pictures of my mother’s garden, or stared so hungrily at the mountains that a few years for I had taken for granted.  And the air!  The fresh, clean, clear, crisp, mountain air!  If you’ve never smelt it, you don’t know what you’re missing.  But I guarantee it’s a smell you will encounter often in Heaven.  I’m pretty sure the smell that accompanies a Colorado mountain morning is God’s cologne – the stuff He puts on just to impress you.

But the thing is, the summer before, I had no idea of the wonder and majesty that surrounded me.  I spent that summer in Colorado too, but I did not take a hundred pictures of my mother’s flowers.  I did not stop dead in my tracks after stepping outside in the morning, just to soak in the wonderful air.  My spirit did not lift in joy when driving into the mountains.  I didn’t know what I had.  I didn’t know the glory, wonder, majesty that I had been given to me.

Unfortunately, over the years since then, that wonder has faded a bit.  But I can still remember that summer.  And I wonder how many OTHER things I take for granted in my life.  Just how blessed I was growing up.  How many friends I’m not near enough thankful for.  How very easy and convenient our lives are today.  How very different my life would be if it weren’t for God, for Jesus and what His amazing, loving sacrifice did for me.  For the air I breathe.

Like the air that surrounds me that I don’t think about breathing in and out, I am surrounded God’s blessings.  And I take them for granted.  Honestly, I often EXPECT them, and get frustrated when I don’t get what I want.  How ungrateful, how ugly, is that?

What are you immersed in that you have forgotten to be grateful for recently?  When was the last time you asked God to open your eyes for all the blessings surrounding you?  How many blessings can you name?   What blessings do you expect to receive?

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